Wednesday, February 6, 2013


When this all started, Earth wasn’t even at a Tech Level Six. It was more of a Five, even close to a Four. Let that sink in. Also note I’m going to be using a lot of Earth measurements for dates, time, distance, and volume so we’re all on the same page.

1880: The first invasion was so small and remote that for years everyone thought it was a hoax. A small contingent Xernians landed with a large mining vessel and started extracting gold in the area that today is called the state of Arizona in the country known as U.S. of A. The Xernians are not here yet. I hope they show up because I have more than a few questions I want to ask them about this little operation. Anyway, the Xernians managed to get blown up by agricultural workers referred to as cowboys using a very low grade explosive called black powder.

1898: The next invasion was carried out by Gorgonians. They first set up a supply base on the nearby planet Mars and attacked from there. Their main target was the country called the United Kingdom. A few weeks after they landed, the invasion force was crippled by an Earth virus.

1950: Then you guys decide to leave the Earth alone for over half a century until the Sondrak Imperials recreated the Gorgonian attack, same staging area on Mars. Though this time they concentrated on the territory called California. They also landed large ships and depended on large combat vessels. And this invasion also ended with a virus wiping out most of the invasion force.

Then it happens in rapid succession.

1960: The Scythian Bloodlords attack the U.S. of A capital Washington, D.C. Only to have the Earthlings destabilize their craft and cause many of them to crash.

1970: The Egabalians tried to take over an area of San Francisco by replacing the humans there with near perfect duplicates. Once their nest was discovered it wasn’t much of a fight.

1980: The Vuralans stage a small scale invasion in a remote area of Ohio and terrify and consume the local inhabitants. Mostly a group of co-eds on their Summer break until they were destroyed.

1996: General Dronn brought the largest invasion force to date to Earth. He used huge mother ships and fleets of smaller fighters. His first strike was against New York City where he blew apart some famous landmarks. It worked, all right. Until that computer virus took out his shields.

2000: The Str’ee Collective decided to mark their landing zones with crop circles. These were largely in the rural areas of Pennsylvania. They were stopped by their vulnerability to water. God damn water!

2011: The last invasion to date was launched the Magelian Horde, right over there. From their base in Roswell, New Mexico they conspired with some of Earth’s industrialists for a quiet take over. How’d that work out? Not so good, huh?

That was depressing. Over a century of hostile incursions, and not one of them successful. We’ll change all that by the time we’re done, but it isn’t going to be easy or pleasant.

We’ll tackle the invasions that didn’t use direct military confrontation later on, but this next part will focus on the large-scale invasions. By now, you should be seeing a pattern with these kinds of operations; they all tend to follow the same strategy, and they all tend to fail. Why do they fail? Because the basic approach is flawed. The fact that you continue to follow the same basic invasion plan is baffling to say the least. The question isn’t: “How does the Earth survive?” It’s: “How the hell did you think this was going to work in the first place?”

Well, no more! Even if you haven’t made adjustments, the Earthlings have. A hundred years of alien invasions will do that to a planet. If you try to invade Earth, this time you had better do it right. First, we’ll look at what you did wrong on a basic level, and then show you how I would have done things differently.

1 comment:

  1. Luckily, Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig stopped the 1880 invasion.