Friday, June 7, 2013



Remember what I said? You want to give the Earthlings multiple options. If you give them a choice between dying and fighting, some will die, others will fight, and you’ll have a mess on your hands. But if you give them the option of going back to their normal lives, some of them will take it. In fact, a lot of them will take that option.

Have you really seen an Earthling? Most of them work jobs they can’t stand, pay money for entertainments they don’t like, and hang around friends who tell them how great everything is. Even the most sadistic minded of you will agree you can’t top this for a punishment. What are you going to do that’s worse? I mean, honestly, you can cause some momentary pain, but is that anything compared to soul crushing monotony? Hell, most of the humans hate their own government, even the ones that have democracy. Earthlings under a democracy hate their own government most of all. I’ve seen it up close, and I still can’t believe it.

Earthlings vote people into office, then spend the rest of the year complaining about what a horrible job those people are doing. It’s a perfect set up for an occupation. They already hate their own government, so it isn’t going to make that much of a difference if you take over. Think about it this way: you should strive to make the area someplace you yourself would live in. Someplace you don’t have to wear body armor and carry a pulse rifle just to get groceries.

The important thing is normalcy. And normalcy starts with order. That’s why it’s vital that you have professionally trained security, police, and administrative forces firmly controlling this area, but as invisibly as possible. Humans are used to dealing with faceless bureaucracies. It’s not going to matter to them whether the bureaucracy in question is run by an outworlder or not. The important thing is to ensure that vital functions continue uninterrupted. The water, sewage, and power services should be quickly restored. These systems are basic, and easy to comprehend.

Banking and commerce should continue as normal. Do you introduce a new currency? That depends on how much of the government you captured during your initial assault. If you’ve taken over a large area, you may have seized not only the capitols, but also the mints. If that’s the case, have them continue to print new money and regulate the banks. Nothing makes a human feel freer than shopping and or consuming lots of crap.

Food production and distribution should continue as before. You may have to get a little creative as some human societies have a very spread out food distribution system. Some areas are cut off from any large stretch of arable land. This can actually work to your advantage if you introduce advanced food production technology, thus feeding people who would otherwise starve.

Your improvements shouldn’t end there.

You can afford to be generous. And if you really want to win Earthlings over to your side you give them a taste of what they have been missing and what they stand to gain by joining forces with a starfaring species.

The ancient Telez Empire extended its reach throughout the old galaxy not only with the sword, but with food and entertainments. The Telez introduced people to comforts they could not otherwise have had, and many former resistance fighters became allies. They set about conquering worlds through dinner parties as much as through invasions. They would call the planet’s elite and have them feast on rare delicacies inside mammoth palaces filled with luxuries unimagined. Going back to our previous point, they also made sure to establish law and government in their new territories. But more than that, they made sure they had new citizens instead of new subjects. The difference is that citizens are a part of your government. They have bought into your system and have a stake in it. That’s the hard part. It’s easy to build a courthouse. It’s not so easy to get people to use it. Subjects, on the other hand, only obey because of the threat of force. And that force you will have to maintain indefinitely. It’s easy to build barracks. It’s damn difficult to keep it full of soldiers forever and ever.

You can do the same with the humans. Don’t just use your advanced tech to rack up a body count. Everything also has a peaceful use. Introduce them to the joy of sexbots. Give them access to entertainment beamed directly into the brain. Show them a world where feeble and aged bodies can be replaced. Above all, show them the stars. Humans are fascinated by space. Many of them long to travel beyond their solar system. Give them an option. They can wait two centuries for Earth to join the warp speed club, or they can sign on with you.

So what am I saying? That at the end of this war for conquest, you end up helping the humans? That you give them a better world than the one you overthrew?

Yes, that’s what I’m saying.

And why should you complain? After all, that’s a small price to pay for…

Say, why did you invade Earth in the first place?


Still not talking, huh? We’re eventually going to have to tackle your motives. But it can wait a little bit longer.

No comments:

Post a Comment