Friday, September 13, 2013



Sondrak Imperials, you were the next to follow in Gorgonians’ slime trail. Why did you invade the Earth?

SONDRAK: We wanted… slaves.

WAR HAWEK: Slave labor?

Are you frigging kidding me?

No! Are you frigging kidding me?

You come all this way… for slaves?

I’m not even going to dignify that excuse. I’m going to pretend you did not say that. You want to know why?

Slaves are the most useless thing in the entire galaxy. Most civilizations gave them up before they became industrialized.

Slavery? Really?

Guess what? Slaves aren’t marching around in chains. And that’s not because it’s a fashion faux pa. Slaves have been, throughout history, a source of manual labor. Manual labor! You guys haven’t heard of a thing called automation? Robotics?

Plus: what the hell could you be manufacturing on Earth? The place is two centuries behind the rest of the galaxy. At least!

If you’re even capable of launching an attack against the planet, you must already have advanced industries. You have somebody who can manufacture warp capable ships, beam weapons, armor, fighting vehicles, plus all the advanced command and control systems needed for a military operation. Let me ask you something. Out of all those advanced industries, which ones are still using slave labor?

Sure, plenty of workers complain about being slaves to the corporations. I know I’m glad I’m in a business where I can set my own hours. And kill people. That’s a good stress relief.

But back to your factory workers. Who in their right minds decides that it’s more efficient to keep a bunch of people against their will as opposed to just paying them a crappy wage and telling them to go screw at the end of the day? And if they did use actual slaves, what the hell kind of operation would they be running? Could they turn out anything that is truly munition quality? And how long can they keep that up?

The idea of using your own people as slave labor is ludicrous enough, but using the Earthlings is another level of stupidity. Chances are they aren’t even familiar with the technologies used in your manufacturing process. Most of our tech involves materials the Earth can’t even produce yet; stable transuranic elements and advanced compounds. You’d have to train them in the science behind these materials. You’d have to familiarize them with manufacturing techniques that are centuries ahead of their own. To do that, you need to educate them. In other words you’d be quickly surrendering the one advantage you have over the Earthlings, your advanced tech.

And for what? To save a few credits on the price of a pair of boots? I promised I wouldn’t get violent, but keep treating me like an idiot and see what happens. Slaves my ass.

No comments:

Post a Comment